Word Vomit: Bad SEO

I'm so sick and tired of bad SEO writing. Do you know what I'm talking about? Ok, maybe you don't. Here's an example. Say you're searching for outdoor living furniture. You want to examine your options. You want to read some articles that will help you choose. You want--gasp--information. What a shock.  So, you search.

click. clack. click. click. clack. "Outdoor Living Furniture." (Apparently I'm Googling on a typewriter)

45 billion results found.

click.

"Outdoor living furniture can be a great thing to have. With Outdoor Living Furniture, you can live outdoors. You can find Outdoor living furniture in a variety of places. Usually, Outdoor living furniture is outside. You can live in it. It is furniture. This is why outdoor living furniture is so important."

Now do you know what I'm talking about? Why in the FREAK are those results coming up on top?  I know, I know... you're going to start dropping big words at me. Algorithm. Keyword Frequency. Antidisestablishmentarianism.

All I'm saying is, "What is with all the bad SEO writing?" Isn't there an argument somewhere for high quality content that keeps people coming back? Aren't you more likely to bookmark or remember a site that does more than just vomit some keywords on your shoes?

Blah. This post came from my attempt to research affiliate marketing. I don't know what it is. After reading about four articles, I still don't know what it is. I'm going to clean my shoes now.

Dear Textbroker, Love Mr. Jefferson

With a completed novel under my belt and a 12 month goal to send it to every freaking literary agent on my list (there's about 200 there so far; s'gonna take awhile), it was time to sit down and figure out how I was going to make money in the meantime.

Now, last year, I was all gung-ho about Elance. I'd bopped my rating up to #128 out of 120,000 writers on that freelance community. Something bad is happening over there, though. The Elance job postings are being FLOODED with people who want to pay peanuts for work. I'm talking less than a penny per word. LESS THAN A PENNY? Are you kidding me? (Pictured, below: Travis trying to balance the budget)

So, I started piddling around on Textbroker again. Any of you who read my past posts know that I was seriously anti-Textbroker about a year ago. This year, though, I realized that at the very least Textbroker is offering a healthy portion of jobs that pay higher than a penny per word. I decided to give it a shot again. Knock knock. Who's there? Travis. Travis who? Yeah, I know, I've been gone awhile Textbroker. Just open the dang door.

So far, so good with the whole Textbroker thing. I'm consistently given a four star rating for my articles, which means that I have access to a bunch of articles that pay over one cent per word. Great, right? Well, yes, it is great. HOWEVER.

I keep glancing at those tantalizing 5-star articles that I can't access. Those 5-star articles pay a whopping five cents per word. Which means I can make more than three times as much writing those as I could writing the 4-star articles. Here's the problem. The only way to get access to those 5-star articles is to write 4-star articles at a 5-star level. Then, Textbroker staff will rate my articles, and after five in a row, I'm bumped up to level 5.

But hold on just a red hot second. How am I supposed to spend the appropriate amount of time and energy to write at a level 5 when I'm still only getting paid at level 4. Let me clarify this. I am fully capable of spending an hour on a 500 word article. I can do the research. I can sew together genius sentences into a high quality creation. But, I'm not going to do that on an article that only pays me $7. No, for a $7 article, I'm going to spend a maximum of 15 minutes. That's the only way I can justify the low cost of the article.

Textbroker, how am I supposed to move up in the world? If you were to give me an article topic and say, "Show us what you can do with this?" I would astound, surprise and gratify. Instead, you're telling me, "Spend valuable time writing at a level for which you won't get paid."

Again I say, "How am I supposed to move up in the world?" Is anybody else feeling this pain? Anybody else wondering how they can get a 5-star rating without spending way too much time on an article that only pays 4 stars' worth? I'm just a man trying to sing The Jeffersons' theme song.

The Help

Alright peeps! It's Book Review Wednesday.  I just made that up.  I probably won't do this every Wednesday.  But for now, let's pretend that this is a regular thing.  Ahem.

BOOK REVIEW WEDNESDAY!!

A couple weeks ago I snatched up The Help by Kathryn Stockett as soon as my wife had finished it.  If you haven't read it, I'm going to try to avoid spoilers at all cost because I really think you should pick this one up.  While I am definitely a Science Fiction and Fantasy geek, I can appreciate a cultural, semi-historical fiction novel with the best of them.  And on a personal note, I love the Civil Rights Era of American History.  Ever since I went to the hotel where Martin Luther King, jr. was assassinated in Memphis, I've been infatuated with that movement in our country's history. 

In spite of that, I was naive enough to be disappointed by this book.  I'll explain that in a minute.

First of all, the characters in this book are so strong.  I love a book with good strong characters: characters whose voices you can hear in your head as if they were standing next to you and shouting.  I love being able to imagine a character's posture, clothing, nonverbal communication, all of it.  Ms. Stockett has her characters DOWN.  I also loved the story.  The humor, the intrigue, the old Southern charm.  It was all great.

The ending, however, left me feeling empty and dejected.  I found myself wanting a more definitive ending.  I wanted the characters to succeed.  I wanted more justice.  I wanted more recognition.

That's when I remembered... Kathryn Stockett couldn't write that ending because it would require a complete change in history.  The Civil Rights movement wasn't over in a week.  It wasn't over in a year.  It didn't wrap up neatly and nicely in a tidy little package where everybody, all of a sudden, got along.  In fact, the ending I found myself wanting would have been ridiculous.

"Now, I know I treated you like trash yesterday because you are black.  But now, I see that was wrong."
"You're right, it was wrong.  Wanna play Gin Rummy?"
"Oh yes."

Yeah. Stupid, I know.  This story ends with a handful of questions because that is what the lives of these characters were full of during this time.  Questions.  Questions about survival.  Questions about society.  Questions about change, about solutions, about unmet needs, about fear, about anger.  Some of us are still asking these questions today.  Some of us throw a huge temper tantrum when an African American man gets elected president.  Some of try to mask our prejudices by hurling stupid accusations about birth location and religion.  Some of us have forgotten the journey that our ancestors traveled. Some of us have forgotten our destination.

It may sound odd, but after reading this book I decided that I am proud of our President.  Not because he is black.  Not because he is the first president elected to this country that isn't as white as the signers of the Declaration.  But because, to me at least, he stands for another step on a journey that I think is well worth traveling.  I know that wasn't the intention of Kathryn Stockett.

Still, we can learn a lot from reading about the past.  We see where we've come from.  We see where we are going.  I see where I am.

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah...

I've had that stupid/hilarious song from 30 Rock in my head all morning.  You know, the one Tracy Jordan recorded and won an award with:

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, Spooky, Scary
Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves...

Haha.  My friends Andrea and Caleb gave us the first three seasons of 30 Rock.  They're 30 Rock evangelists, I guess you could say.  And I'm proud to report that I'm a born-again convert.

I resisted watching that blasted show for years because I was determined to hate Alec Baldwin.  I'm not sure why.  I think it was a noble attempt to bring a little balance to my typical obsession with celebrity.  I am far too fascinated with the lives of the A-Listers, and I thought if I could passionately hate one, just one, celebrity, that would balance my life out.

Well, dang you, Alec for making me love you.  Now I have to find another celebrity to loathe so that my life can once again be balanced.  I've been throwing out names all day, but am unable to let go of my admiration for stars such as Bruce Willis, Harrison Ford, Leo D, and Johnny Depp...

Wait, I've got it.  George Clooney.  He ruined Batman, he's shmarmy, his skin is too tan.  Perfect.

I hate you, George Clooney.  Please don't be in a sitcom that I'll love.